Sunday, January 31, 2016

Remembrance Of My Parents

Where does the time go?  I am now heading to my own 30th Wedding Anniversary.  Hard to believe as it feels like just yesterday most times. This year would mark 68 years for my dear parents. I'm sharing these photographs in loving remembrance. . . .

Mr. & Mrs. James Pantley request the honor of your presence at the marriage
of their daughter Gloria Vita to William F. Sheard Jr. Saturday the thirty-first
day of January Nineteen Hundred Forty Eight at two o'clock St. Rita's Church

Heading into the church as the day unexpectedly grayed and snow began to fall

These photographs are "It's A Wonderful Life" era of the 1940's. As a youngster, at times I would spend some hours going through these wonderful wedding albums, getting lost in them. I thought they were the neatest things. 

We have 6 or 7 of them. All the weddings of our aunts, uncles and cousins. Typical large Italian family. Seems there was a wedding almost every year from the late 40's on through the mid 1950's. Each married in St. Rita's Catholic Church,  starting with our grandparents generation in the 1920's. Receptions held at the Tacoma Lawn and Tennis Club. And all photographed by Richard's Photography Studio in Tacoma. They are really well done albums. I am grateful to have them.

Mom would always say "I was the first", LOL. She seemed pretty proud of that. First one married, 20 yrs. old, pop 23, and first grandchild, Larry, came along 10 months later.


I haven't been in St. Rita's in quite a few years now. It is my favorite
Catholic Church in Tacoma, The statuary inside is just stunning. 
And 
of course that this was the family's church of worship and mass.















Father & Daughter

These velvet gowns were maroon for maid of honor and emerald 
green for the rest of her court. Gorgeous for January wedding.











For Tacoman's, you may remember Ray's Market On Steilacoom Blvd.
This young man is Ray Fiorino, my mom's cousin. He opened, owned and 

operated that market for many many years. He was the neatest guy.

My Grandparents

Aunts, Uncles & Grandparents (mom's side)

Aunt's, Uncles & Grandparents (pop's side)

Mom and her uncle Anthony (Tony). She adored him. And she was his
favorite niece. He treated mom & pop to an all expense paid
week in Vancouver BC for their honeymoon.




Saturday, January 9, 2016

That's A Joy

This particular story shows that often we are so caught up in ourselves that we don't even realize that people around us are still suffering. But this little girl opened this woman's eyes.


She was 6 years old the first time that I met her on the beach near 
my house. I always drive to this beach, which is about 2 to 3 miles away, when everything seems too much for me and the world seems to be falling apart around me. The girl was building a sandcastle or something similar, and happened to look up, her eyes as blue as 
the sea.

"Hello," she said. I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child. "I'm building." she said. "I see that. What 

is it?" I asked, not caring. "Oh, I don't know. I just like the feel of sand." she replied. That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes. A sandpiper glided by. "That's a joy" the child said. "My mama says that sandpipers come to bring us joy." The bird went gliding down the beach. "Goodbye joy, hello pain" I muttered to myself, 
and turned to walk on. I was depressed; my life seemed completely out of balance. 



"What's your name?" This girl just wouldn't give up. 

Ruth. I am Ruth Petersen" I said.

"I'm Wendy. .. I'm six."

"Hello Wendy", I replied.

She giggled: "You're funny."

In spite of all of my gloom, I laughed too, and walked on. 
Her musical giggle followed me. 

"Come again, Mrs. P," she called. "Then we can have another happy day."

The following days and weeks were filled with stress and commitments, Boy Scouts, Parent-teacher meetings, and my sick mother. One morning the sun was shining as I took my hands 
out 
of the washing up water. "I need a sandpiper", I said to myself and picked up my jacket. The ever-changing smell of the sea awaited me. There was a cool breeze, but I carried on, trying to recapture the serenity and inner happiness that I needed. I had completely forgotten the child and was startled when she appeared. 

"Hello! Do you want to play?"she asked.

"What did you have in mind?", I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.

"I don't know. You choose!"

"What about charades?" I asked sarcastically.

She burst with laughter: "I don't know what that is!"

"Then how about we just walk", I suggested. I noticed how beautiful her little face was. "Where do you live?", I asked.

"Over there", she pointed towards a row of summer houses.

Strange, I thought, in winter. "Where do you go to school?"

"I don't go to school. Mum says that we're on vacation." She continued to chatter the entire time we strolled along the beach, 

but my mind was on other things. When I left to go home Wendy 
said that it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.

3 weeks later I rushed to the beach in a state of panic. I was not 
in 
the mood to even greet Wendy. I thought that I could see her mother on the veranda and felt like telling her to keep her child at home. "Look if you don't mind", I said crossly when Wendy came over to me, "I'd rather be alone today." She seemed unusually pale and out 
of breath. "Why?" she asked.

I turned to her and shouted: "Because my mother died!" and thought, my god, why am I saying this to a little child?

"Oh", she said. "Then this is a bad day."

"Yes", I answered, "and so was yesterday and the day before and, oh go away!"

"Did it hurt?" she inquired.

"Did what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, and with myself.

"When she died?"

"Of course it hurt!!!" I snapped, not understanding in my grief, and left.

About a month later, when I went to the beach, she wasn't there. I felt guilty, ashamed, and had to admit that I missed her. So I gathered up my courage and went up to the summer house after my walk, and knocked on the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored hair answered the door. "Hello", I said, "I'm Ruth Peterson. I missed your little girl today and was wondering where 

she is."

"Oh, of course, Mrs. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you often. I'm afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was ever a nuisance, please, accept my apologies."

"Not at all, she's a delightful child", I said, suddenly realizing that I really meant it. "Where is she?"

"Wendy died last week, Mrs Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn't tell you."

I was dumbstruck, and groped for a chair. The wind was knocked out of me.

"She loved this beach, so when she asked to come here, we couldn't say no. She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. The last few weeks however, she declined rapidly..." her voice faltered. "She left something for you... if I can just find it. Would you wait a moment while I look?"

I nodded stupidly, and my mind raced searching for something, anything, to say to this lovely young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope, with Mrs. P printed in bold, childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon colors: a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully written:

"A sandpiper, to bring you joy"

Tears welled in my eyes, and my heart, that had almost forgotten how to love, burst open wide. I took Wendy's mother in my arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I muttered over and over, and we wept together.

The special picture is now framed and hangs in my study. Six words, one for every year of her life that tell me of harmony, courage, and unconditional love. A gift from a girl with sea blue eyes and hair the colour of sand - who gave me the gift of love.

This story really makes you stop and think. The last words are so important - above all, because you don't know when they'll be said. Little Wendy's message helped this woman to find, and see, the happiness and joy in her life.